Waddaya know?
So today I got on the treadmill and I actually feel better.Hunh!I think the whole suicide thing was bothering me more than I realized. From what I heard the service was …weird. As in the daughter in the family got up and basically claimed that the dad did NOT jump in front of the train; he had a stroke and fell. And mention was made of how his son was cheated out of a father. I’m glad I missed it. I started off the day feeling FAT and out of sorts but am ending it on a much better note. Thanks God!!
Just feel like it (or not)
I already posted today but I feel like checking in. The funeral was today for the father who jumped in front of a train. I didn’t go. I never had hisson as a student and although I have been praying for them at every free moment I didn’t think I needed to be there. I didn’t get on the treadmill today. I didn’t feel like it. Also, I can’t stop eating.sigh….
Well….
Read the prepared statement on the suicide to my class. Surreal.Pondering the place of “faith community” in my life. Husband is so vehemently opposed to having to connect with anyone at church.How important is it for us to worship together as a family?Maybe he wouldn’t be happy anywhere?
How? part2
Ok. I’ve had some time to process the whole suicide thing. This is not my first exposure to it. My ex-husband’s brother committed suicide. In the community where I lived an assistant principal jumped out in front of an 18 wheeler. I knew that my ex-brother -in-law was a troubled soul. But I certainly didn’t know how troubled. I know I’ve always wondered what could lead a person to such a desperate and final act. What was going through their minds at that exact moment? Were they looking forward to their release from their pain or was there; in that final nano second of life, a tremendous “oh crap! I don’t want to do this!” thought. Which one of those scenarios is the more tragic? In this latest case, they found the man’s bag on the platform with a letter of termination from his job in it. The town in which I teach is pretty well off but by no means the richest town in the state. But I can imagine what a mortgage in this town must be and how impossible it would be to survive without a job. I’m sure I’ll never know the whole story. But what I do know is that everyone in our school and our community will be affected by this man’s decision. I know I’m supposed to stand up in front of my home room on Monday and read a prepared statement and offer everyone the chance to talk to a counselor and hope to God no one asks me any questions because I have no information to give them beyond what the paper has printed. And how much do the kids need to know anyway? I can only pray that this poor family can find their way to some peace and that parents in this community talk about this with each other and their children and love each other a little more deeply and openly in the aftermath.
every diamond lining has its cloud
Recently celebrated my 8th wedding anniversary. My very generous husband gave me a diamond tennis bracelet. NO! I don’t play tennis! It’s so beautiful! Every time it moves around my wrist it rips out my arm hairs by the roots! Well, I guess I’m going to have to be more disciplined with the whole Nair routine from here on in!!
How?
Today we found out that the father of one of the 8th graders at our school jumped in front of a train. I’ve never had him as a student but I do have his best friend in my homeroom. (also a former student of mine). My mind is having a hard time wrapping itself around this.
January Decor
I “redecorate” my house just about every month. Not that I move furniture around or anything. I just change a lot of accessories out. In January the theme is Snowmen. I leave the greenery and white lights up around the windows. (I’ve often thought of Jan. as a “dark” monthe so I like the festive white lights. I have snowmen just about everywhere.I know! So chi chi! But I do love it and both my husband and the kids look forward to the next monthe!
Oh well
I can’t believe I made it to Friday. It amazes me everytime. I need some more energy so it’s back on the treadmill for me. So … why am I exhausted??
January 16, 2008
January 15, 2008
January 15, 2008